Sports Fans in These Cities May Want to Take a Vacation…for Several Years

10. Atlanta/Minneapolis (TIE): The Braves will continue to be competitive, but their years of utter dominance are behind them. The young Hawks appear to (maybe?) be improving but an NBA title run at Philips still seems far in the distance. And then there’s the Falcons. To quote the always-solid Falcoholic: “You know this season has turned into a nightmare when I’m requesting that Chris Redman starts.” Kinda puts things into perspective, no?

Like Atlanta, the baseball team in the Twin Cities keeps Minneapolis from climbing higher (meaning lower) on this list. The Twinkies have a good organization, a good manager and decent young talent. But, let’s face it, they traded away Hunter, and Santana might be gone as soon as today. They won’t spend the moeny to put this team over the top. It’s an unfortunate circumstance, but no less true. The T-Wolves are incredibly young and aren’t punching tickets to the Western conference finals any time soon. Crazy to say, but things in the Twin Cities might look even bleaker if not for the Vikings?? Do I believe Tavaris Jackson will lead the Vikes to the promised land? Not so sure. But I know one thing…I believe in Keyser Soze…and I believe in Purple Jesus.

9. Houston: Tell me who you put faith in to go deep into the postseason in the near future? Schaub makes the Texans unarguably better, but they’re at least a few years – and a few more impact offensive players – away. Get him a line, a running mate for Andre Johnson and a young stud in the backfield and we’re talking. The Rockets are who we thought they were – a competitive team in the West. You kind of get the feeling the McGrady-Yao combo has had their chance. The ‘Stros just did this. I know he played on the NL Champs last year, but this does not bode well.

8. Charlotte: Home of the Bobcats and the wounded Panthers, the fans in Charlotte may want to turn their attention back to motorsports. David Carr (he of the dainty gloves and fragile body) is not the answer. Think Steve Smith is getting close to having enough of being a Panther? Perhaps Adam Morrison will put the dreams of a city on his shoulders. Perhaps not.

7. Tampa Bay: Another two-sport city with dim prospects in the next 3-5 years. Don’t get me wrong, I think Jeff Garcia is the MVP of the NFL. No joke. Last year in Philly was no fluke. The fact that this team is 8-4 and leading the NFC South defies logic. Gruden is a good enough coach to continue to keep this team competitive, but they need to get an offense one of these days and that won’t happen overnight. The baseball squad here manages to bring the whole equation down. You can call them whatever you want but the ‘Rays will continue to upset their fans as well as, potentially, Satan.

6. Baltimore: Now, this is where it starts to get fun. The rest of these cities are all hurting, it’s just a matter of degrees now. With the O’s and Ravens, Baltimore sports fans are staring poor to mediocre in the face. Billick will soon be gone and the team will face the same challenges. Solid defense, awful offense. Plus, that formidable “D” is getting older. Frankly, I don’t know much about the O’s except that they’re not very good. I like Markakis and they have (had?) a few good, young arms but the Sox and Yanks just have too much firepower to even allow good teams to fight for the AL East. And the O’s ain’t good yet.

5. Cincinnati: Almost a mirror image of Baltimore, the two pro franchises in Cincy don’t exude confidence. Marvin Lewis’s bunch has done a better job staying out of the clink, but they couldn’t stop USC right now and it just doesn’t look like whatever “it” is, is working. The Reds homepage has the following players proudly featured across the page header: Ken Griffey, Jr., Adam Dunn, Bronson Arroyo and Aaron Harang. Hopefully, the Great American Ballpark has good concessions.

4. San Francisco: We could go all Bay Area here and get weird with Oakland, Golden St., etc. but let’s stick with SF proper. Giants. 49ers. Two once-proud organizations, both reeling. Expect nothing from either of these teams for a good long while. Although, I love this kid (I just hope he doesn’t destroy his arm).

3. Kansas City: Being forced to suffer through season after season of Royals baseball is more than any fan should have to endure. But the folks in KC should be cursing the sports gods for frowning upon them and delivering this man. Enjoy him Chiefs faithful. Herm and the Royals? Does any city deserve that?

2. Washington, D.C.: Things do not look bright in the nation’s capital. The Nationals are young and “new.” Plus, they are bringing in the likes of Milledge and Elijah Dukes to their outfield mix. While that makes them immensely bloggable, it probably won’t help them much on the field (although the clubhouse may be more interesting). We like Jason Campbell, but Gibbs appears on the brink of retirement which might not be a bad idea considering recent decisions and the pieces just aren’t quite in place. Meanwhile, the Wizards have Gilbert Arenas and…Gilbert Arenas. Wait, they don’t have Gilbert Arenas now? Maybe we’re unfairly piling on to D.C., but we don’t see big things coming from any of these three in the nearterm.

1. Miami: Oh to be a fan of the teams in South Florida! Honestly, why bother? Seriously, take the next decade off. Consider it an early holiday gift to yourself – a gift that keeps on giving. The Marlins continue to develop great young talent and then send it away. Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis should become the latest examples. The Dolphins are flirting with historic futility and the Heat are, literally, crumbling before our eyes (4-13?!). For the local fans, now would be a good time to head to the beach, until say 2012?

So, next time the woe-is-me fan bug hits you. Think about being in Miami, or D.C., or K.C. and be thankful for what you have.