QBs Burning Rubber To Arizona

By Erie's Scribe on Jan 15, 2008 with Comments 18

You do not want to pull up to the Super Bowl in this vehicle

The teams that will be playing in the AFC and NFC Championship games this weekend are there for a variety of reasons such as the Giants defensive line, the Packers out of nowhere back Ryan Grant, the Chargers ailing uber-back LaDainian Tomlinson, and the Patriots reborn receiver Randy Moss. All eyes, however, will be focused on 4 men this weekend. These gentlemen are the quarterbacks for the Giants, Chargers, Pack, and Pats. We all seem to get infatuated with the quarterback position this time of year.

So we got to thinking, if these QB’s were cars, what would they be? And more importantly, which one do you want to take you to Arizona? We consulted the official auto expert of The Legend (the Bunger) and hammered it out:

Philip Rivers, San Diego Chargers:

We say: Rivers has some surprisingly decent stats the past two seasons, and he lead one team to a 14-2 record and this team to the AFC championship game. But still, there’s something we don’t trust about him. That whole getting pissed at the San Diego fans who were booing him at home thing didn’t win him any points. Also, my friend was insisting that Philip Rivers “is a dick” as we sat in a Pittsburgh bar watching the playoffs all weekend. Most of his argument was unintelligible, but he was so adamant about it that I think he might have something there. We’d rather have Drew Brees.

The Bunger says: Philip Rivers is the H2 Hummer. People get caught up in the glitz of an H2 (just like they get caught up in a first round QB), and then realize they overpaid for what they could have gotten in a Suburban. Except the H2 has less space and doesn’t handle as well as a Suburban. Why anybody would “upgrade” to the H2 when they had a perfectly good H1 Hummer (The H1 Hummer is coincidentally the car that Drew Brees would be) in the garage is a mystery to me.
** We think that Billy Volek is a station wagon. You don’t want to be taking the trip to Arizona in a station wagon, but it might just outperform the H2 if it gets the opportunity.

Eli Manning, QB, New York Giants

We say: Eli is talented and still very young. He does, however, have many detractors. The NY press, Giants fans, people who just don’t like him because he forced his way out of San Diego, everyone is ready to chime in. Plus, he’s constantly in the shadow of big brother Peyton.

The Bunger says: Eli is a Chevy Camaro. The Camaro has always been the little bitch of the Corvette, just like Eli and that Peyton guy. When you get one, you get a fast car, but it’s still a Camaro. The new Camaro looks cool, but it’s still no Corvette. And, everyone is laughing at you when you drive away in it.

Bret Favre, Green Bay Packers

We say: Brett Favre!!!! He’s fricking Brett Favre. Who doesn’t like Brett Favre? The old gunslinger, he’s been doing it for years.

The Bunger says: Brett Farve is a Ford Mustang. The Mustang, like Farve is an American classic. It’s been around forever(much like Farve) and has always been completely badass. This year’s model hearkens back to the older Mustangs and is more kick ass than ever. Now you’re starting to drive in style.

Tom Brady, New England Patriots

We say: We want to hate him because he looks like a pretty boy. But, he’s a pretty boy that doubles as a tear-your-heart out competitor and is coming off of a simply amazing season. The dude already has three rings, and he actually improved this season.

The Bunger says: Tom Brady is the Aston Martin DBS V12. It’s pretty, sure, but it’s all about performance. This car looks like a superstar and performs like one too. Did I mention they used it for the latest Bond movie? This is the car I want to drive to Arizona.

We want to see that Ford Mustang power it’s way past the Aston Martin in the Super Bowl and drive off into the sunset, further cementing it’s legendary status. But that’s just us, we’re kind of old school like that.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Tags: Billy Volek • Brett Favre • Eli Manning • Phillip Rivers • Tom Brady

About the Author: I am a Cleveland sports and Buffalo Sabres fanatic. I'm currently living in Erie, but even when I'm not there, Erie runs deep in me. I'm an ex multi-sport goalie, and we goalies tend to see things a bit differently. I went to college with Cecilio's Scribe and I am also a Big Red afficiando. Otherwise my college sports loyalties are all over the place. I try to keep my posts light, but I'm a Cleveland fan so the occassional rant is possible (inevitable?).

QBs Burning Rubber To Arizona

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