The Alternate Universe that is The NBA Least: Suspend Reality

Saying the NBA East is terrible is the analytical equivalent of proclaiming Eddy Curry is fat and out-of-shape…or that Isiah Thomas is an idiot…or that Nate Robinson is frequently out-of-control…you aren’t saying much that a third-grader couldn’t figure out after about two minutes of watching.

That said, talking about the NBA Least has almost become so passe that it has, in effect, lost its meaning. The woeful state of half of the NBA has been drilled into our heads by the likes of Bill Walton and Stephen A. Smith to such a degree that we have a tendency to almost want to push back….to claim, “c’mon already guys, it’s not that bad.” Such a need is what caused this casual NBA fan to at least re-visit the topic and see if the East really was that bad.

So, let’s begin our analysis with a look at the current NBA Eastern Conference playoff picture. OK, well that was fun. Verdict in. Holy sh*t! Are you f-in kidding me!?? Seriously?? Now, we are admittedly not the NBA fan equivalents of brain surgeons here. For that, you need to visit here and, perhaps, here. We are mere plebians, simpletons really, who only occasionally attempt to pretend to know things pertaining to said Association. But, in this particular instance, we feel as if we’ve somehow been shielded from just how horrible this situation has truly become.

Honestly, the NBA East defies all forms of logic. It’s an alternate universe. For example…

A normal casual fan might assume that a team sporting a 15-under-.500 record with less than 15 games remaining on the schedule would only be contemplating a lottery pick…instead the Chicago Bulls have a shot at the playoffs. Wait a second…playoffs? Playoffs? Si.

A normal casual fan might assume that when someone mentioned the “improved Atlanta Hawks” who are likely heading to the postseason…that said Atlanta Hawks were actually good. One must never assume in the NBA Least…because you would be wrong. The Hawks are 30-39. Translation = still not good.

One would assume that this team could not still be winning games at an enviable click with the words “dangerous” and “playoffs” associated with it…meet the now over-.500 Philadelphia 76ers who are 18-7 since February 1. Of course, they’re 11-2 at home during that stretch dropping games to only Boston and Orlando. Sure, that makes a lot of sense…

One might also assume that a team that’s dropped 8 of their last 10 and is threatening to drop under .500 might need worry…but the Raptors have the seven seed pretty much wrapped up at 35-35, up 4.5 games on those pesky Hawks.

It truly is an awful state of affairs. Meanwhile, a young, hungry talented Blazers team that’s three games over in the West doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of cracking the postseason. We just don’t get it.

And, now, back to the tournament…