"The Secret Past of Miguel Tejada": Who F-in Cares?

I say tom-A-to, you say tom-mah-toe…you say Te-hey-dah, I say Te-ha-dah…

We hate to continue our ESPN rant (it really is SO cliche in blognation), but they often leave us no choice.

Tune in to hear about “the secret past of Miguel Tejada.” Really? How about, no? Sometimes, I truly do not understand whether ESPN is just so enamored of itself that the blinders are permanently on, or if they are just plain dumb. Or, perhaps, I’m overestimating the “sporting intelligence” of the typical ESPN viewer. This is quite possible. Maybe a bit of all three?

Long story short, I couldn’t give a flying you-know-what about the “secret past” of Miggy. I’ve already been subjected to 75 replays of that I’m sure was a cutting-edge, groundbreaking E60 interview in which it’s revealed that (NO WAY!) Miguel Tejada is actually older than he has claimed (I CAN’T BELIEVE IT). And, what’s more, his name is spelled T-E-J-E-D-A (OH, THE HORROR! I FEEL SO MANIPULATED!).

So, wait, a Latin-born Major League baseball player lied about his age claiming he was even younger than he really was? No wonder ESPN is hyping this story so much. Frankly, I’d rather watch the nerd fight club segment. Sounds like fun to watch skinny white dudes getting knocked upside the head with computer keyboards. The first rule of geek club is you do not talk about geek club. Better than debating the “significance” of the fact that Miggy’s last name is spelled differently than we thought.

Sometimes ESPN simply drains me. At least I get to listen to Joe Morgan comment on the Mets game tonight (/jabbing myself in eye).