Without belaboring the point, Berman has become simply unwatchable. He offers absolutely nothing of value to the telecast, except maybe to pretend “fans” for whom he delivers some sort of dumbed-down entertainment? If there are people out there who still enjoy Chris Berman, there’s a very strong probability that I would thoroughly dislike those people.
Just why is Berman sl awful? Most importantly, he provides no insight that anyone who is a devoted football fan could not replicate. Not one thing that came out of his mouth over the interminable day one telecast made me stop and say “oh, that’s interesting…I hadn’t thought of that.” Not a single comment. Second, is his horrendous schtick. Apparently, it was once popular, for 12-year old boys watching NFL Primetime. However, it falls horribly flat on day one of the draft when real fans are looking for information and not catch phrases and embarrassingly bad plays on words.
The perfect example came when the Pats selected Jarod Mayo with the #10 pick. After five minutes of analysis, Berman dropped it. Like an overanxious, below-average stand-up comic, Berman was as giddy as a school boy when he let out that next year we’ll be talking about whether opposing teams are “holding the mayo” against the New England linebacker. Really? No, really!? Are you f-in kidding me, Berman? YOU ARE HORRENDOUS.
The rest of the commentator crew granted “Boomer” a commendable reaction. Crickets. Exactly what was deserved for the equivalent of a third-grader joke delivered with the equivalent degree of excitement of a child who thought that he “had a great one.”
Aside from that, Berman came off as the generally annoying, condescending prick he apparently is in “real life.” Fortunately, lovers of the draft could take solace in the infinite wisdom of Keyshawn Johnson (/ears bleeding profusely).
I never thought I’d be so happy to see Trey Wingo and Cris Carter. The difference in listening pleasure is infinite.
Hey, ESPN, it’s time to graciously end the Chris Berman era. And while you’re at it, just give Keyshawn the damn boot.
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About the Author: Cecilio's Scribe is the founder of The Legend of Cecilio Guante and a generally pessimistic fan of the Mets, Jets, Knicks and Rangers. A fine NYC-based gentlemen who hones his marketing skills as his primary trade by day. Husband, chef, father of a newborn and after-hours blogger by night. Proud alum of the mighty Big Red of Cornell. University. Hot sauce devotee. Staunch protester of the continued wussifcation of American sports. Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick.