Among all of the wonderful things that accompany football season, many have nothing to do with the product on the field. The simple joys of going into a sports bar on your team’s bye week (I still prefer watching my team with sound in the privacy and plasma-fabulosity of my home) and peering up at 7, 8, 10 games at once. Head-on-a-swivel. Fantastic. The return of chicken wings to a legitimate meal choice and crappy weather days that can be miraculously transformed into ten straight hours of NFL blissfulness.
Speaking of head-on-a-swivel, one of those wonderful superfluous aspects of the football season is the appearance of lovely ladies in football jerseys. C’mon, fellas. You know what I’m talking about. There is just something incredibly attractive about a female rocking jeans and the jersey of her favorite team (as long as it’s not one of those pink atrocities). You know how many woman can’t resist a “man in uniform?” The same applies for male-female. It’s just that our uniform of preference features polyester mesh and a silk-screened number and name on the back.
We tried to figure out just what it is that causes this almost unnatural reaction of the typical American football fan to a female in aerated polyester. After much research, we figured it has something to do with its implications of an interest in sports, willingness to head to the stadium, dress appropriately, drink cheap beer out a can at a tailgate and even talk a lil’ sh*t.
It says you’ve got a little spunk and can “hang with the boys,” two traits almost universally lusted after by most football-crazed males (at least in their fantasies, if not reality). We also made the leap that the little holes in the jersey are somehow more teasingly sexy on a fine-looking lady than a beer-bellied dude giving us an unwanted preview of his mane of chest hair.
This is what we figured. Then we realized, all you probably want to see is pictures. So, here you go. We tried to avoid the photo-shopped shots of cheerleaders and other model-types in their eye-black and Halloween high-heels (not that we have anything against those), and instead tried to showcase a few lovely examples of “everyday” women fashionably sporting their favorite NFL or college jerseys (no pink versions, please). We salute you! (photo credits provided wherever available):
Yes, this is the result of our extensive research on the Web. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. Sure, we could go to one of our friends at a familiar SEC site to snag some images of plenty a young undergrad sporting jerseys of the Dawgs, Vols or Tigers. But where oh where are all the hotties rocking the NFL-licensed stuff? Heck, I’ve seen them at the Meadowlands. Whether in a Pennington or Chrebet, they are out there.
Maybe our Web sleuthing skills are off, but we could find nary a real female fan of reasonable attractiveness sporting an NFL jersey? How is this possible? Particularly given the relative strength in the T & A department of a large majority of today’s sports blogosphere.
We are stumped. Therefore, we turn to you. These images must exist somewhere. Show us the way, oh wise ones.
Until then, we will await our first visit to the Meadowlands and our first reminder of just how beautiful a combination woman and jersey often make.
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About the Author: Cecilio's Scribe is the founder of The Legend of Cecilio Guante and a generally pessimistic fan of the Mets, Jets, Knicks and Rangers. A fine NYC-based gentlemen who hones his marketing skills as his primary trade by day. Husband, chef, father of a newborn and after-hours blogger by night. Proud alum of the mighty Big Red of Cornell. University. Hot sauce devotee. Staunch protester of the continued wussifcation of American sports. Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick.