A Plea for Help from the Blogosphere: A Henry v. Henry Tale of the Tape

Henry vs. Henry, A Battle for the Ages

Sometimes we can’t even credit ourselves for “creativity.” Well, because it’s not particularly creative to note that two of football’s most recent dangers to all that Roger Goodell and the NFL’s personal conduct police hold sacred both carry the same last name. It’s actually quite obvious. What’s not obvious is who boasts the more impressive resume (and by impressive, we mean in terms of prolific off-the-field records, of the criminal-type and variety). Which Henry “wins” the tale of the tape?

We were poised to break it down with all sorts of wittiness, clever plays-on-words and allusions to fun stuff like weed, coke, domestic abuse and fathering babies like it’s going out of style. Unfortunately, we’re just dog-tired. This blogging thing takes a lot of time and effort, and we’ve decided tonight we’re just too f-in lazy to try to determine if T. Henry and C. Henry is “a push” or an advantage to one in the suspension or felony categories.

So, we’re making a strange request. Somebody run with this. There are plenty of very funny, talented, well-funded bloggers out there who could have a field day with a Travis/Chris Henry match up for degenerate supremacy. Men and women with much more skill and creative ambition than I who consistently pen hilarious prose and know how to do cool graphics and snazzy tables with people’s little head shots and all that jazz. So, who’s ready to seize the opportunity? Who’s got the talent and drive to put the spotlight on these two young men”s stunning acheivements?

We seek no recognition, except, perhaps, one of those blog-style hat tips or something. We’re ready to be entertained.