Murder by Numbers: Oakland Raiders Edition

By on Nov 03, 2008 with Comments 0

So, You’re Saying We’re Not Good?

We’re going to the well again. Call us creatures of habit. In the past few months, I’ve introduced a somewhat new and completely irregular feature called “Murder by Numbers.” Within this exciting new segment, we break down numbers that are usually quite innocuous but, in the context of a team, player or game, are terribly frightening. Previous cases involved the New York Mets and the Washington State Cougars football squad.

Today, I am happy to welcome to the program the Oakland Raiders. Without further adieu, compliments of yesterday’s shutout loss to the Falcons at home, murder by numbers brought to you by the warriors of Tom Cable.

0 Number of points thrown up by the silver-and-black in Sunday’s contest

0.4 Average net passing yards per play. Go ahead, read it again.

2.3 Average number of yards per offensive play. Powerful stuff.

3 First downs secured by the potent Raiders offense. IN THE ENTIRE GAME.

4 Number of times JaMarcus Russell was sacked

6 Completions by the former #1 pick in the NFL Draft. That’s why they pay him the big bucks!

7 The longest pass play of the game for the Raiders, a seven-yarder to Javon Walker. This was their longest pass completion of the day. It bears repeating.

14 A quite attainable number of losses for the Oakland Raiders this season. Seems like the crew is really stepping up the effort under Tom Cable. Wise move, Mr. Davis. You are a shrewd man.

14:45 Oakland’s total time of possession — for THE ENTIRE GAME. Apologies for the emphasis, I am just having trouble reconciling some of these figures

31 Yards passing for JaMarcus Russell. I won’t go all caps again, but, yes, this was for the entirety of an NFL football game.

32 The Raiders team points per game rank following Sunday’s debacle

1,000,000 Number of years it must feel like for Raider Nation since this franchise went to the Super Bowl


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About the Author: Cecilio's Scribe is the founder of The Legend of Cecilio Guante and a generally pessimistic fan of the Mets, Jets, Knicks and Rangers. A fine NYC-based gentlemen who hones his marketing skills as his primary trade by day. Husband, chef, father of a newborn and after-hours blogger by night. Proud alum of the mighty Big Red of Cornell. University. Hot sauce devotee. Staunch protester of the continued wussifcation of American sports. Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick.

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