Dear Jets: Shut the F&*k Up (Sincerely, Jets Fan)

The Jets came out in their home opener in a brand new stadium and did nothing to win the game despite plenty of opportunities in the first half. They did everything to lose a game in the second. The defense was solid for the most part. Not to say, there were not awful performances (we’ll get to those). Mark Sanchez and the offense? Indescribably poor. Really, truly unwatchable. Reminiscent of the abominable Paul Hackett-led Os of not too long ago.

To recount it all is already too painful. Simply put, if the Jets play anywhere remotely like this they will without a doubt start the season 0-3. They WILL lose to the Pats at home (crushed, actually, if their performance resembles this evening). Then, they will fall to the Dolphins in Miami. If they’re lucky, play like this could keep them competitive against the Bills…maybe.

Forget the deep analysis. Here’s what stood out for me and early grades:

Offensive Line: C
The O-line was fine in protection, but penalties killed them as they did the entire team. I was particularly impressed in that Matt Slauson’s name was rarely called which was encouraging. There were some holes in the running game, but all around it was average. Sanchez ate turf twice…I don’t know….whatever

Running Backs: C
LT looked OK early and old and tired late. Shonn Greene fumbled twice on five carries and lost one. He also dropped a pass. An undistinguished performance that left him plenty of time on the bench to think about it. Not like the offense was out there running many plays anyway.

D-Line: B+
Despite the offense keeping them on the field virtually the entire game…and losing Jenkins early…they were generally active and stingy. Jason Taylor was impressive as a run stopper. Thomas was flying all over the field early and Pohua and DeVito were consistently penetrating and causing some havoc.

Ryan Wilson/Antonio Cromartie: F
They were both lit up like X-Mas trees. No ball identification whatsoever. I can’t stand the overall trending of the refs in terms of the interference, holding and illegal contact calls, but these guys didn’t do much to turn the cases in their favor.

Darrelle Revis: A
Revis was his old self. They barely threw his way, and his game legs seemed to be there even in the fourth quarter. The rest of the defensive backfield should be embarrassed that a guy playing a week could show them up that badly (no matter how naturally gifted). Incredibly impressive from Revis.

Brad Smith: A
Sure, Smith had only a few plays. Still, he was one of the only sparks in a putrid offense. Even falling down on an option play, Smith managed to turn in a solid gain. There were moments where I wanted Shotty to go to a hurry up and just put Smith in there to run the show for a series.

Special Teams: A-
Overall, from Leohnard on the punt returns to Weatherford to our kick coverage, the special teams were solid. Three for three from Nick Folk? I’ll take it. At least someone (ahem, WESTHOFF), seemed to have his unit ready to play. Speaking of…

Coaches: C-
Aside from Westhoff, there were no bright stops. Your team comes out like they did tonight with the situation as it is and a lot has to fall on the coaches. I’m sorry, Rexy has to tone down the blitzes at some point when you realize 80% of your defensive backfield is getting beat like a drum in one-on-one match ups. And Shotty…dear, goodness. The play calling was about as inventive as a sheet of white paper. There was no adjusting, no getting in anyone’s face, no attempts to alter what was a watching-paint-dry tempo. Simply put, there was little coaching going on. Why on Earth we were spending a minute and a half with the hard counts, shifts and audibles on every single snap, I would love to know.

Receivers/Tight End: N/A
Wait, did they play today? No, for serious…were they active?

Nacho Sanchez: F
Progression my ass. Try regression. Sanchez was terrible. He was everything he was last year at his worst. Indecisive. Nervous. Defeated. Completely lacking confidence. The playcalling certainly didn’t help. Sadly, his best throw came early to Keller, a play that was of course negated by a stupid illegal shift penalty that was partly Braylon’s fault and a bit on Sanchez as it was the one time the offense decided to snap the ball quickly (after 12 shifts, of course).

Overall, it was just atrocious. So, instead of hearing how the Jets could have put the Ravens away…or should have been able to do this…or could’ve changed a few things here or there…instead, I’d like to hear absolutely nothing. Nada. Zippo. Zilch.

The honeymoon is over, Jets. It’s time to get back to work and chug down a giant Slurpee-sized glass of shut the f*&! up. Please.