Sunday’s 10 NFL Commandments: Thou Shalt Remember These Things

Things We (Re)Learned This Sunday

The Jets season is officially over. Their performance did show us something. Many things. Many bad, bad things. The loss was illuminating, but it revealed plenty we already knew. In fact, there were many universal laws of NFL nature that were confirmed this Sunday. We hold these truths to be self evident…according to us.

1. Though Shalt Recognize That Mo is Money: Congratulations to Maurice Jones-Drew. MJD is someone who we’ve always appreciated for just going out and doing it every week, no matter how good or bad his team. Now, he’s the NFL’s leading rusher.

2. Thought Shalt Not Believe in Cowboys/Tony Romo in a Big Game: Tony Romo has long had a reputation for coming up small in big games. Sunday night’s performance in Dallas’s embarrassing loss to the Giants with a postseason berth on the line was not particularly different. But this is more of a Cowboys thing as opposed to a Romo thing. They are supremely talented and mentally weak. That is a scientific fact. Speaking of lack of mental…

You Can Count on Yellow with the Silver and Black

3. Though Shalt Only Consider the Raiders Penalty Prowess as “For Real”: Oakland managed to set the record for penalties and yards, cementing their longstanding commitment to excellence in the categories of clean, disciplined play. That’s about the only thing they succeeded in accomplishing on Sunday. It was hard to think Oakland was going to seize the day and take care of their end of the bargain against San Diego. They didn’t and finished 8-8. Not. Over. Hump.

4. Though Shalt Not Take Jerry Jones Word (Ever): Yes, Jerry Jones publicly came out in support of Jason Garrett “no matter the outcome” of the Cowboys game against the G-Men. Don’t trust him. Terrible losses. Winless against the Eagles and Giants. We’ve seen crazier. Much crazier.

5. Thou Shalt Question Whether Mark Sanchez is a Franchise Quarterback: We broached the notion a few weeks back. Today only did more to raise doubts. First-rounder or not, we’re not impressed. And lose the stats. The phrase “step backwards” was used frequently this season — and with good reason.

Remember That Brady Guy?

6. Though Shalt Not Sleep on the Patriots: The past two weeks New England has trailed early before storming back and running away with games against the Dolphins and Bills respectively. It seems like the Pats “quietly” ran away with the division and will now be hosting a playoff game. That. Is. Scary.

7. Though Shalt Appreciate the Brees: Drew Brees is ridiculous. That is all.

8. Though Shalt Not Blindly Follow Tebow: I like Tim Tebow, for many reasons I’m sure other non-partisan followers do: his toughness, his winning attitude, his play-making ability. But did you catch that game today? All those comments about his not being an NFL quarterback? You at least have to play some heed. 6-22? For sixty yards and a pick? And the throws were NOT CLOSE. You DO have to be able to at least be a serviceable passer to experience consistent success in this league. The Miracle of Tebow is now 7-4.

9. Though Shalt Feed Ray…Rice: The man wanted the ball more. He’s getting it…and the Ravens are prospering because of it. That bowling ball can ball.

10. Though Shalt Appreciate the Game: My favorite team’s season is mercifully over. The regular season means we will soon need to experience life without professional football on Mondays, Sundays and sometimes Thursdays and Saturdays. When this moment arrives, it is dark and depressing. However, for tonight, we must rejoice and appreciate and embrace what we have. The NFL Playoffs are coming. Enjoy responsibly.