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Celebrating Stellar Stiff-Arms, Inspired by Beast Mode

Most football fans have by now seen Beast Mode’s “seismic” gallop in last week’s Wild Card game in Seattle, punctuated by his stiff arm/back up off me toss of Saints DB Tracy Porter. It was, in a word, nasty.

Now, if folks want to get all technical, the stiff arm is generally a technique aimed at keeping a defender, quite literally, at arm’s length. It’s to avoid having said potential tackler even get to the body and, hence, further one’s gain. While that’s all well and good, the real fun of stiff arms is when someone gives the part stiff arm, part open-faced jab, part just straight up punch in the face.

These are the “stiff arms” we relish the most…the ones that flat-out embarrass the defender. Those that strip him of his manhood and lay him out on the floor. You know, the ones like Marshawn’s violation of Tracy Porter.

So, inspired by Beast Mode, here are a few memorable stiff arms. No doubt those on the receiving end remember them well, particularly as they lay the turf in the immediate aftermath, questioning their masculinity.

The Defensive Lineman Stiff Arm:
Kentucky defensive lineman Ventrell Jenkins proves you don’t have to have a running back’s number to unleash a devastating stiff arm.

The Old-School, One of the Best Runs You’ll See Stiff Arm:
The only college jersey I ever wanted to purchase was a #5 Garrison Hearst Georgia Bulldogs model. I never did, and I still regret it. I loved watching him play in college. He did some things in the pros for a bit, too. This Jets DB may recall one particular run.

The I’m a Soldier Stiff Arm:
This could be my personal favorite, in part because it’s on a beast of a linebacker. Check out Kellen Winslow as a member of the Browns simply owning the longtime stalwart Joey Porter.

The You Wish You Were Tikki Stiff Arm:
Jonathan Stewart engages and casually disgards Ronde Barber.

The Eddie George Move, Bitch, Get Out the Way Stiff Arm:
Ray Lewis is the benefactor of a violent message-sending stiff arm care of Mr. George. Lewis seems strangely silent after this one.

The Rosey Stiff Arm:
Lendale White unleashes a powerful one against the Longhorns during the ’06 Rose Bowl.

The I Don’t Care What the Scoreboard Says Stiff Arm:
In the midst of a 52-6 game in which the Rainbow Warriors are getting their asses handed to them, pass-happy Hawaii hands off to 266 lb. back West Keliikipi who carried the ball 72 times during his career. He made this one count. Just ask 2-9 in cardinal and gold.

All Day Stiff Arm:
Adrian Petersen throws a casual stiff arm, followed by a toss-his-ass-out-of-bounds upgrade on the way to the end zone. Well-executed.

GREG. JONES. STIFF. ARM.
Thank you to one of my anonymous comment providers. Speechless. Maybe the best I’ve ever seen.

And just one more time for good measure…

20 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    Its move bitch get out the way not boom bitch. you kiddin me!

  2. Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    You could make a 10 minute video just out of Walter Payton's stiff arms…he rocked.

  3. Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    greg jones from fsu has a really nasty one

  4. Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    Greg Jones stiff arm on Dexter Reid is the best highlight out there of a stiff arm or forearm shiver!

  5. Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    Where's Adrian Peterson's against the Browns? He threw that guy out of bounds…

  6. Cecilio's Scribe

    January 12, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    noted. bitch is now moved. also, if anyone has links to youtube vides of any of these…harder to find these days. thanks

  7. Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 at 5:13 pm

  8. Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    • Xiiomi

      November 27, 2012 at 4:13 am

      those sites will do nothing but make u broke. I’ve tried it twice and lost; it ain’t even worth it. I do saperd picks for fun on yahoo college pickem, but i ain’t putting any money on it. If you’re going to do it, than do something like a 10 team parlay with $ 1. If u hit all 10 games u win i think between 800 and 1000 bucks, but if one game is wrong, u lose your $ 1.

  9. Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    You have to admire Porter for bouncing back up and assisting in the tackle of Winslow, then sacking Frye on the very next play.

  10. Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyzCQ5dvW_U

    Adrian Peterson "The Run"

  11. Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    Need a white boy QB stiff arm: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzYav7cf9G8

  12. Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    The Other Adrian Peterson's "The Run" at Georgia Southern is sick. Fantastic special teams player/back-up runningback for the Bears for the last eight years, too.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftVLoFWZA7s

  13. Anonymous

    January 13, 2011 at 10:46 am

    Joey Porter was a linebacker and appears in the above video. Jerry Porter was a WR with Oakland the last I heard of him, but he's been since traded, I think.

    Even a casual football fan would know the difference. Way to ruin a good post.

  14. Cecilio's Scribe

    January 13, 2011 at 11:05 am

    good call. fixed. we all make mistakes.

  15. Sooze

    January 13, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    Badass.

  16. Stuart

    January 14, 2011 at 3:47 am

    Every one of these was somebody trying to arm tackle up high. Served their sorry asses right.

  17. pharmacy

    August 29, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    It is pretty impressive how sports work and people that they can appreciate in a different way.

  18. 4rx

    November 11, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    wow amazing besides You could make a 10 minute video just out of Walter Payton's stiff arms…he rocked. Greg Jones stiff arm on Dexter Reid is the best highlight out there of a stiff arm or forearm shiver!

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