Coach Hawkins: Go Coach Intramurals, Brother
- Updated: October 13, 2009
I won’t bore you with a long story, but I grew up north of New York City and have been a Colorado Buffaloes fan since the age of 12. No alumni affiliation. No relatives. No favorite Jets player who hailed from Boulder. Makes total sense, right? Well, Sal Aunese is the one who dragged me in, and a magical run followed by a few pretty damn good couple decades kept me a Buffs backer regardless of my approximately zero affiliations with the school. That’s why sports are great. That is also why Dan Hawkins must be banished from the Rocky Mountain state.
Throughout junior high and high school, I had collages of black-and-gold covered with images of my favorite college players in the land – guys like Chad Brown, Deion Figures, Kanavis McGhee, Darian Hagan, Bieniemy, Westrbrook, Renfro, Fauria, the list went on and on. I kept with them through Kordell and Koy, Westbrook and Salaam.
Even now, thousands of miles away, with the Buffs less and less frequently taking center stage on national TV, I followed the team and rooted them on – although Blockbuster and Aloha lacked the prestige of Orange and Cotton. But this…this…is abominable. Embarrassed by Toledo? Beat down by a no-longer-elite West Virginia team? Another opening weekend loss to Colorado State? I admit I’ve not been as close to the team as in decades past. I no longer know recruiting classes, nor do I study injury reports so, occasionally, I must rely solely on numbers. In this case, Dan Hawkins’s numbers.This is the story they tell:
– 4(th): year of a five-year deal signed in 2005 to the tune of a million or so a year
– 14: number of wins Hawkins has posted since taking over four seasons ago
– 26: number of losses during that same period
– 1 bowl game appearance (2007 Independence Bowl, loss to Alabama to finish the season 6-7)
– 0 bowl victories
– 0 Big 12 conference season records over .500
– 0 seasons with an overall record over .500
– 25: years since the Buffs have had more than two consecutive losing seasons (there was an impressive five year stretch from 79-84 where they failed to reach the .500 mark, but since then they’ve been pretty nasty all things considered)
– 0: seasons past 2010-11 Hawkins will last in Boulder
So, I ask…how doth one kill a program? Dan Hawkins may have successfully sunken the only college football team for whom I ever pledged my loyalties. Unfortunately, the buyout of his contract is likely too steep for the University to handle, which means one more season of Hawkins-ball in Bufftown. Damn, you Coach Hawkins. Go coach intramurals, brother. Go coach intramurals….