The Legend of Cecilio Guante
Don't Miss

Golden Tate is right about Jim Schwartz: total douche move

schwartzcarryoffLast weekend, Jim Schwartz was carried off the field by the Buffalo Bills following their 17-14 comeback win over the Detroit Lions. Schwartz served as the head coach in Detroit for five seasons, compiling a 29-51 record in the process. He was fired at the end of the 2013 season. Schwartz now plays the role of defensive coordinator for the Bills.

At the time of hearing about Schwartz’s Sunday  carry-off, I recalled thinking…”Wow, that’s a nice thing to do. He must have really developed a special bond with those players in a short time…for them to recognize the ‘significance’ of that moment…” I also thought. Huh, a little strange. In all honesty, it made me double-check myself. Jim Schwartz IS the defensive coordinator right? This also WAS the fifth game of the regular season. Correct?

Like many things in my cluttered brain, I kind of let it go after that. No time to further breakdown what seemed a sincere human moment, albeit slightly out of the ordinary. That was Sunday.

Yesterday, Golden Tate brought it all back. Tate is a receiver for the Detroit Lions. Give us a second, as this will all make sense soon.

Apparently, Coach Schwartz had some emotions following his firing that may have been a little hard to let go. Not sure if he harbors resentment or what. I mean, the guy did compile a .363 winning percentage over a five-year stint, so not quite sure what grudges bear carrying. Anyway…Coach Schwartz circled the October date on his calendar when he’d face his old team. According to Bills players, Schwartz made the request of them before the season started. Assuming it was something like this…we beat my old team, I want to be carried off. On your shoulders. Rudy-style. Think about that for a second while we get back to Tate.

So, Golden Tate. He heard about how this little emotionally-touching moment was artificially manufactured and had some opinions which were shared during an interview on 105.1 FM in Detroit yesterday:

“It’s a terrible gesture. Just being a spectator, that’s not the first time that he’s done some things like that…One thing that I heard, I don’t know how true it is, I heard that it was planned.”

He went on to explain how it was also a sign of disrespect:

“I thought it was so disrespectful. So disrespectful. I didn’t like it at all…If I knew I wasn’t going to get fined, I would have snatched him right down off their shoulders and threw him on the ground, personally. But obviously I couldn’t do that.”

My favorite analysis though was this, mentioned in explaining how it went down as he understood it:

“Like do this if we win. That’s a total douche move.”

Let me count the reasons I love this whole narrative and that final phrase most of all. Because he COULDN’T BE MORE RIGHT. Tate nailed it. What is this AMATEUR HOUR? First off, it takes the spotlight off your team and their win. Instead placing it squarely on you, only if the actual time you spent on your guys’ shoulders was only a few minutes. Loser. Second, did the Detroit Lions and their fans do you wrong? Were you made to suffer some undeserved indignity? No. Loser. Oh yes, was this the game that sent you to the Playoffs? The Super Bowl? Riiight, it was the contest that vaulted you to 3-2 on the season. Lou-hou-zeeeerrrr.

Or in better words: TOTAL. DOUCHE. MOVE.

Love it, Golden. I also like the idea of making “total douche move” a thing. Reminds me of “that’s a clown question, bro.” There’s potential there.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.