The Legend of Cecilio Guante
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It’s February 2nd, Welcome to Hell Sports Fans

How’d you enjoy that Super Bowl, sports fans? Well, drink in the agonizingly enduring post-game analysis marathon. Seriously, enjoy it, because the long winter of sports-viewing discontent has officially begun.

Major conference tournaments don’t start for nearly a month. It’s still too early for bubble talk. Face it, you’re staring a cold, soulless month of sports right in the face. In a matter of days, you’ll be begging for Lions-Chiefs or the Jackass.com Who-Gives-a-F Bowl. But, for now, emptiness, longing, despair.

We collectively stand at the precipice of an interminable month. No four-week span is as dreaded as February. It is a period of time so devoid of any meaningful sports-related entertainment that we are rendered virtually defenseless against our wives, girlfriends or significant others who enthusiastically snatch back the remote with renewed vigor and turn on Grey’s Anatomy with a smug grin. My wife-to-be relishes in that moment, because she knows. She realizes I am defeated.

What can I do? Demand that we watch the Knicks-Grizzlies? Argue the entertainment merits of regular-season hockey? Hell, I wouldn’t even subject myself to Saturday afternoon Big Ten hoops. I’d rather vacuum and wash the dishes than watch Michigan St. face Indiana. Out shopping and gallivanting all over the city we shall go, as nary a pitch will be tossed in the month of February. We don’t even have the World Baseball Classic and pride for country to pull out of our bucket of tricks until March.

So, for anyone complaining about Sunday’s big game for any reason quit your bellyaching. You’ve got plenty more to really be pissed about now. Enjoy the Daytona 500, the NBA All-Star Game, the PBR semis and….Well, at least you’ve got the AFL to fill the February void…or not.

I believe it was the poignant long-haired rockers of my youth, Cindarella, who once crooned “Don’t Know What You’ve Got (Til It’s Gone). Amen, brothers. A-freakin-men.

See you all in March. We’ll be in hibernation for a few weeks.

Ed Note: Not really, but it’s for effect OK? Just go with it.

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10 Comments

  1. P-Cat

    February 2, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    Hell, I know what cha mean. I put a poll on my blog; what do you look forward to now? Pitchers and catchers reporting and analysis on Chase Wright’s chances of making the AAA club? The 418 new mock drafts per day? The Pro Bowl? It’s a sad time.

  2. Anonymous

    February 2, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    shoot…this aint sports hell: here in boston, we got the Beanpot classic starting today. celts and the bruins are doing very well. Truck Day is this friday. pitchers and catchers report in 9 days, 20 hours and 11 minutes

    next thing you know, it’s going to be the end of march, with Spring Training in full gear, the end of hockey and basketball regular season, and march madness

  3. Anonymous

    February 2, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Typical ignorant North American whining. Everyone outside of Podunk, USA knows that February is the time of Six Nations rugby, the restart of the Champions League and UEFA Cup knockout stages, as well as loads of European domestic league footy action.

    Have fun watching NASCAR, you empty-headed moron.

  4. Cecilio's Scribe

    February 2, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    “footy action?” “footy. action??” are you serious? you’re right, if my intention to go nowhere near the Champions League and UEFA Cup knockout stages means I’m a blubbering north american idiot, than I am proud of it. i will not be tuning in to rugby, soccer or anything of the sort. particularly soccer. i’d rather watch middle school field hockey. Plus, I HATE Nascar. you might have realized that from the mocking tone…or, apparently, not.

    sincerely, empty-headed moron

  5. Eric Fingerhut

    February 2, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    I’ve heard people refer to this period as “sports hell” before, but I don’t get it. College basketball, hockey and the NBA every night of the week–what’s the problem? July and August, with only baseball, and a couple of big tennis and golf tournaments, are much bleaker on the sports landscape. And please don’t tell me those months are good because of NFL training camp and preseason. You need some kind of NFL detox if that’s the case.

  6. initme

    February 3, 2009 at 2:06 am

    i love the comment about the ignorant americans not liking real football (soccer). then scribe comes in and proves the ignorance with his stupid comment. if you ever bothered to watch soccer or rugby, you’d realize its much better then your time out every two minutes, sucking oxygen on the sidelines sorry excuse for a sport american football played with hands. you watch the usa vs mexico match on feb 11th and then tell me your not a fan. also the winner of the pooper bowl is not the world champs, who did the steelers play outside of america? and the super bowl is not the greatest sporting event the viewers are only 90 million compaired to the world cup championship game of 715 million. so stop your ignorance and watch the champions league, i use to hate soccer also. but once you find out what its really like you’ll love it forever. thank goodness the super bowl is over.

  7. Anonymous

    February 3, 2009 at 2:38 am

    Wow just what we need- another smug European a**hole who has to deride Americans for watching American football while blissfully ignoring the Champions League. Lord knows there aren’t enough of those in the world. Americans aren’t raised on soccer (or “real football” as said smug a**holes constantly interject), so why is it surprising that we don’t watch it? We prefer the tough, gritty, high-scoring game that is American football as opposed to the tediously boring, low-scoring game that is soccer, which is devoid of any parity as the team that spends the most always wins (what a coincidence). We’re raised on American football from the day we’re born, just as you are with football. It’s as much a part of our culture as football is to yours, so let us take a moment to complain about how boring our next month is going to be without relevant college basketball or baseball. Telling someone to watch another sport in America is like telling them to switch religions. It isn’t gonna happen. Lay off the ‘ignorant American’ crap. It hasn’t been cool since World War II.

  8. Bryan

    February 3, 2009 at 7:39 am

    what about the champions league knockout stage? that’s starting up in february. if there’s a sports hell it’s the weeks directly following the nba finals when it’s just regular-season baseball.

  9. Anonymous

    February 3, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    just curious, but if you think said scribe is an empty-headed moron, why do you read his blog every day?

    and if you’re looking for commentary on sports such as rugby and soccer, why would you expect it out of americans who generally have no interest in the sport?

    i agree with another comment that this is FAR from the worst season of the year. that definitely applies to july and august, when the only thing i care about on sportscenter is nfl training camp to help my fantasy football prep.

    for those who dont care for feb college hoops or nfl, check out college lacrosse!

  10. The "We Hate The New England Patriots" San Diego Sports Fan Collective

    February 3, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    Any sport (futbol) that actively endorses the idea that a Tie is a GOOD thing can eat a dick!

    Six nations Rugby doesn’t really hold a candle to any of the Southern Hemisphere competitions. The passion displayed by the six No. Hem. teams is admirable but it’s average rugby.

    Having said that, and all things being equal, February is a rough month for sport.

    Sincerely

    Typical North American Whiner

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