The Legend of Cecilio Guante
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LeBron For Pope

Hello Legend readers, I’m at the beginning of exam week for second semester of Law School and needless to say time is at a premium. But, this NBA season (LEBRON!!!) has had such a positive impact on my sports psyche (which was at its lowest point since Fart Modell burgled my innocence) that I had to get some thoughts out.

Mix the Cavs with the draft, which is always an emotional day for a Browns fan, and you get these two emails from me to Cecilio’s Scribe:

E-mail #1

Subject: LeBron For Pope
To: legendofcecilioguante@gmail

CS, Exam time, numero uno is on Thursday. Unfortunately, I studied 20 hours this weekend. Would have been 24, but Cavs playoffs and NFL draft interfered. No time to write a full blog spot, but I gotta get some Clevetown sports thoughts off my mind. Thanks for the set of eyes.

Un-fricking-believable time to be in Akron and able to get 100% Cleve-town sports coverage. I got the entire damned roller coaster this year. I moved last summer and the Tribe has a great 2nd half, a quick dose of false optimism. Then, I was positive the Browns were going to be off the hook this year. Things were going to change! It was going to be awesome. Browns killed me. Almost broke my spirit. All-time low as a sports fan (besides when the assclown took our team).

I just recovered from the Browns 2008 campaign last week, right in time for the draft. LeBron has saved my sports soul. I am a Witness. I’ve managed to watch a ton of Cavs games season, it’s my law school refuge. My Lord, becoming a Witness was never so glorious. LeBron, holy crap. Sweet sassy molassy is that guy rediculous. Not only my #1 sports hero, but #1 overall hero for ES. And, beyond Lebron this Cavs team is awesome. They hang out and make funny Youtube videos and do all sorts of other cool sh**. Like getting the best record in the league and sweeping the Pistons. West, Williams, Big Z, Booby, Joe Smith, Sideshow Bob? All those guys, tremendous.

Optimism at an all time high for this squad. I am loving the Cavs, life is good. Things have turned around. My whole prospective is realigned. I’m easily able to shake off the Tribe’s horrendous start. No worries Wahoo Warriors, I’ll check you in June.

I’ve even already bought into the first ManKak (great nickname, blogosphere) draft. Did they give up #5 for a mere second rounder, the 17, and some castoffs? Yes, but I’ve convinced myself the dude with the kicker’s name will start at safety, the unbelieveably average sounding guy will add depth to DL, and 2nd year QB quy is better than Ken Dorsey (this part I don’t doubt). You assured me that Nick Mangold is superb, so I’m convinced that Mangini’s trademark “in 1st round, pick a center” strategy is money. Two recievers means that Stallworth’s vehicular manslaughter case is less troublesome (there’s a sentence you don’t write everyday). Plus Robiski is “the most polished” receiver in the draft! I’d imagine he’ll catch 60 balls, at least. Georgia WR guy, he’s cool too, he says he brings a lunchbox everyday. That’s my kind of player. And then Hawaii DE they’re turning into an OLB, he sounds crazy! But crazy in a good for an OLB in the NFL sort of way.

Plus I like the extra late round picks. Forgotten USC linebacker guy in the 4th round? He’s going to be awesome, would have led any other team in tackles. He’s like a mix of Zack Thomas and Dat N’gweyn. 6th round, 2 CB’s (with tons of upside), and a RB that was part of an officially nicknamed “Thunder and Lightning” backfield? Any dude that is good enough that I’ve heard of his nickname is a keeper. Great draft. 10-6 and playoffs. Whew. Basically I’m excited. Had to get that off my chest, thanks for listening to the vent, Cecilio. And thank you LeBron, you’re going to be the best pope ever.
–Harry Doyle

E-mail #2

Subject: One More Thing….‏

C.S., I know you and your J-E-T-S bretheren are frothing at the thought of a franchise QB. I’d be excited too. I think this Dirty Sanchez guy is going to be good (but then again I thought Leinart was going to be good). Just keep ‘er in prospective. Trust me, I got way to excited about the Brownies last season. The crushing blow of such a terrible season after so much hope is a torture I wish upon no man (Not even DeShawn Stevenson).

The Jets big draft splash with Sanchez and Shoan Green reminds me of when the Browns got Quinn and Thomas 2 years ago. Great moment, but the loss of picks? Badness. Don’t forget that the J-E-T-S made a 5 for 1 swap. The Jets got the best player in the trade, but that came at a price of 5 guys off of the 53 man roster. I felt I owed you this warning. Over-expectations for the Browns put me in a 7 month funk.

Okay, thanks, my mind is clear and ready to jump into a little interpleader and joinder and res judacata and the such.


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  1. Cecilio's Scribe

    April 27, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    as i told ES, there hath been no frothing here. cautious optimism…figured we tried that one out for once. unbridled negativity hasn’t proven to do much good to date.

  2. skins fan

    April 28, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    E.S., its nice to see your return to these pages. That being said you should go master the finer aspects of anticipatory repudiation, negative reciprocal easements, and the Hand formula

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