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MSG: Welcome to the World’s Most Silent Arena

You Could Hear Crickets

The silence is deafening. For anyone who spent time in the Garden in the 90s, sitting through a New York Knicks game circa 2008 is a somewhat startling experience. We’ll keep it simple. We’ve been to funerals that are louder.

Never mind the fact the Knickerbockers lost their sixth straight to the lowly Clippers after being up nine at the break. We’ll choose to ignore the fact that Isiah’s crew put up 34 points in the second half. Instead, we’re still floored by the silence. Is there such a thing as less than zero energy in a building?

In an effort to put it into some sort of perspective, here are the top 15 “moments” that occurred at the Garden on Monday night. We’ll take it in terms of increasing noise levels. Each of these scored higher on the decibel level than anything related to the Knicks on-court play (besides maybe the boos).

#15: A rather half-hearted series of boos at the announcement of Knicks head coach Isiah Thomas (even the Garden crowd’s enthusiasm for Thomas-bashing seemed zapped)

#14: Some dude behind us sneezed.

#13: My buddy yelled “good effort, Fat Eddy” after Curry meekly waved at a Clipper driving to the hole. You could hear it from 20 rows away (seeing as nobody was in half the seats, sound traveled pretty well)

#12: The first routine from the Knicks City Dancers.

#11: The crowd cheering for the musical selection of “Umbrella” by Rhianna to be played during a timeout.

#10: The halftime talent show featuring three young girls who couldn’t sing a lick.

#9: A between quarters race where two munchkins had to put on a pair of shorts, jersey and sneakers before hitting a layup.

#8: Knicks City Dancers second routine.

#7: Shot of Sean William Scott (a.k.a. Stiffler) shown on the jumbotron.

#6: Shot of Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Gray from Gray’s Anatomy) shown on the jumbotron.

#5: A slightly more emphatic round of boos following a third quarter where the Knicks were outscored 28-14.

#4: Knicks City Dancers third routine, featuring the least clothing and most sexually-suggestive moves of the night.

#3: A fat guy carrying a sign with the numbers 18-1 written in black marker makes his way around the arena.

#2: A dancing duo of one individual who looked like Bushwick Bill and a 300-lb man in a Strahan jersey bustin’ a move (they happened to have great rythym).

#1: Standing ovation for NY Giants Kevin Dockery, Sam Madison and R.W. McQuarters. Speaking of which, this must be R.W. McQuarters seventh trip to the Garden during the playoffs. Whereas the team’s stars wouldn’t be caught dead watching this team at the Garden, R.W. looks like a kid in a candy store. He reminds me of Rod Tidwell in Jerry Maguire. Can’t get enough of the crowd. It’s actually pretty amusing.

Anyway, none of the above is hyperbole. It’s one of the more depressing developments I’ve had a chance to “witness” in professional sports. Something’s gotta give. Doesn’t it??


  1. Meatwad

    February 5, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    With Dolan at the helm it would probably take a Heart Attack and subsequent change of ownership to get Zeke fired. (although a big chunk of money from Stern ‘under the table’ might do the trick too)

  2. Anonymous

    February 5, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    I heard the guy in the Strahan jersey was hired by MSG to dance during timeouts. Seriously. He’s the same guy who does the same thing at every NY Liberty game.

  3. Cecilio's Scribe

    February 5, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    anon, not sure if that’s amazing or awful…but thanks for the tip

  4. Will

    February 5, 2008 at 4:43 pm

    I’m a Knicks fan living in LA so when I get in the car after work last night I’m excited because the game is on. When the Knicks are up by 9 at the half and the Clips coach is back at the hotel, I think to myself “I’ll get home in time for the fourth and see the knicks actually win a game”.

    I turned it off with four minutes to go in the third vowing never again would I be so foolish as to feel confident of a W.

  5. Matt

    February 5, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    R.W. is such a basketball fan he attended D-League games in Tulsa last year.

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