Olympians Worth Watching: Our Hottest Hopefuls

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A.J. Feeley Gets (correction: got) to Put his Mitts All Over This Olympian. Bastard.

With all the protests going on surrounding the Olympics, including issues of civil rights, labor and the environment, we thought it was time for us all to take a collective chill. And what better way to do that than with what always strangely seems to appeal to the typical reader of this and other sports blogs – hot chicks.

As we “prepare” for the August Olympic games, we thought it our patriotic duty to remind our readers of the very best athletes we have heading to Beijing to compete. They also happen to rate highly on the “we wouldn’t mind-playing in or on the sand/water/court with her” scale.

Without further delay…a few of the ladies we’ve deemed “ones to watch” across a wide range of summer Olympic sports. As always, we welcome your thoughtful consideration and suggestions in the comments (stay classy, LCG readers).

Basketball
The lady hoopsters have fared better than the men in recent Olympiads. We also find them infinitely more pleasant to look at than Shawn Marion. We’d go with the following in our starting lineup.

Sue Bird: A perennial WNBA All-Star, she also volunteered to be spanked by a radio host if she did not have better than a 2:1 assist-to-turnover ratio. Need we say more?

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Candace Parker: While Swin Cash may have more of the fashionista look, nothing’s hotter than a good-looking gal who can drain jumpers in your grill and also throw down a jam. Oh yea, and she happens to be the best player in college basketball.

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What’s that? Oh, perhaps she can rock that runway look as well.

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Soccer
Few teams in sports have had a run like the U.S. Women’s National team. They won something like 80 in a row before losing to…oh, who cares. Heather Mitts is on the team…and we think Hope Solo may also make the squad. Although not our cup o’ tea, Natasha Kai rocks some sexy ink as well.

Hope & Heather
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Softball
Booo-ring.

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Yes, we all know Jenny Finch. Personally, she doesn’t bowl me over, and I actually think she looks sexier in uniform. Call me crazy.

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Maybe, now that their ridiculous run is sort of over, there can be a renewed focus on putting the next class of hot pitchers on the mound? May we submit an early candidate? HT to Winning the Turnover Battle for their suggestion of young UCLA phenom Whitney Baker. Wow, read that whole post again. Remember when Allison Stokke was “new news?” Crazy. Perhaps if we’re still blogging in another four years, we can include Allison and Whitney in such a post.

Swimming
Yes, we are proceeding in alphabetical order. While several of the U.S. National Team may be befitting of FHM body shots, the LCG has slightly higher standards. So, we’d like to recognize the reigning champ and one of the less-heralded women of the water.


Amanda Beard
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Natalie Coughlin

Ms. Coughlin may not have the “body of work” of Beard, but she’s got more medals (2 golds, 2 silvers and a bronze in Athens back in 2004). She also got her BA in Psychology from the Berkeley, which makes her even a little hotter. For those curious, Beard attended the University of Arizona…sometimes things just seem to make perfect sense.

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Oh yes, lest we forget the synchronized swimming team. We’ll leave the analysis to you.

Tennis
When it comes to the little fuzzy yellow ball, we can’t really figure out how this whole thing really works. About all we do know is that a few of the world’s top players will be in Beijing. In this case, we American-o’s probably have nothing on the world in terms of the loveliness of our ladies. Zippo. Nada. Particularly not when compared to our our favorite be-stamped Serbian who will surely be making the China trip if she remains as hot (literally and figuratively; currently #2 in the world). And since this is not doing it for us, we’re cheating on this Olympic sport. Sure, she’s only #63 in the world and doesn’t have a shot in heck to get to Athens (or likely any future Olympic games) but just go with it…Ashley will turn 23 this Friday, by the way. Don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.

Ashley Harkleroad
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Track & Field
The list of ladies track and field Olympians is sure to be long. We narrowed it down to a few standouts.

LaTasha Colander
Colander snagged a gold medal in 2000, before somebody had to spoil it for everybody
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Amy Acuff
Amy does high jump…or somethng.
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Volleyball
Last but not least, we head to the women of the net. We’d like to end such a post with something like this, but, alas, we must keep it to the red, white and blue which means…I guess this shot will do (isn’t what they can do with photos amazing? have never seen her look this good).

Misti May-Treanor
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That’s all we got. Someone should really take this assignment on at a global level, because there is Olympic gold-medal-worthy talent out there that needs to be exposed. Also, our apologies if we’re off on naming any of these ladies as Olympians in error (besides the intentional inclusion of Ashley). We’re going off the resources currently at our disposal. More importantly, can someone explain why Amber Stachowski is no longer listed on our water polo team roster?!
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About the Author: Cecilio's Scribe is the founder of The Legend of Cecilio Guante and a generally pessimistic fan of the Mets, Jets, Knicks and Rangers. A fine NYC-based gentlemen who hones his marketing skills as his primary trade by day. Husband, chef, father of a newborn and after-hours blogger by night. Proud alum of the mighty Big Red of Cornell. University. Hot sauce devotee. Staunch protester of the continued wussifcation of American sports. Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick.

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  1. Anonymous says:

    I thought Heather and AJ got divorced.

  2. Erie's Scribe says:

    USA!USA!USA!

  3. Cecilio's Scribe says:

    good call, anon. according to the venerable Wikipedia.

    Heather Mitts dated Philadelphia Eagles and Miami Dolphins quarterback A.J. Feeley for a four-year period, from 2002 to 2007.[1] They broke up in March of 2007.[2] Until recently she was dating tennis player James Blake.[3] Heather dated Philadelphia Phillies slugger Pat Burrell prior to A.J. Feeley in 2001 and 2002. Heather Mitts is currently single.

  4. Anonymous says:

    None of those chicks are very good looking except for Misty May who is married to Florida Marlins catcher Matt Treanor which you failed to mention

  5. Anonymous says:

    Saw Heather and AJ together at a Phillies game 2-3 weeks ago.

  6. Justin says:

    I would have to agree that Jennie Finch looks way hotter in her uniform!

  7. Anonymous says:

    Leslie Osborne of USA Soccer is pretty hot too.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Hope Solo is sooo beautiful and so talented. Best female goalkeeper of all time, no doubt.

  9. Anonymous says:

    what about that pole vaulter whos cares if she isnt gonna be der

  10. Anonymous says:

    How about Diana Lopez?

  11. Cecilio's Scribe says:

    wow, is that an olympic taekwan do reference? if so, well played on diana lopez.

  12. Cecilio's Scribe says:

    anon, i believe calling her Misty May-Treanor would give a hint on the whole married to thing…but, yes, she is married to the fish catcher if anyone was not aware.

  13. Anonymous says:

    Have you seen that pole vaulter Russ Buller? He is one hot guy. and that is from one guy to another. All I have to say is I bought a bowflex after seeing that commercial

  14. Olympchicks says:

    Great list, though the international ladies might have the US beat in looks.

  15. 4rx says:

    wow there is a hot chick in the malasyan team ! I wonder if you know about her!

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