San Antonio is Spurring My Intense Hatred

Nobody Likes You People

First off, the NBA Playoffs are pretty solid. I thoroughly enjoy them. The first round has fallen a bit short in terms of overall competitiveness, but round two is shaping up rather nicely.

Being that the team I traditionally waste time cheering for is an abortion, I find myself watching the games as an interested but “non-affiliated” spectator. I want that to change. I’m begging for love. I’m looking for some team to sweep me off my feet and capture my fervent loyalty for the next month-plus (by the way, could they possibly drag out the playoffs any more?). The early favorites are certainly the Chris Paul-led Hornets or, perhaps, the Cleveland LeBron James.

But here’s one thing we do know. Our current favorite playoff squad is ANYONE FACING THE SAN ANTONIO SPURS. While we are not yet clear on the most likeable squad of this year’s postseason, we’re unwavering in our belief that the Spurs are clearly the most detestable.

At first, I thought perhaps it was just that little bug inside each and every sports fan that simply yearns for change, for newness, for surprise. I was just sick of the Spurs. Bored really. Right? That’s why they suddenly seemed so unappealing. That’s why I was finding myself actively rooting against them.

That’s what I kept telling myself. But, after watching this team play again and again, I’ve realized that…at the bottom of my gut…with every inch of me…I plain, straight hate the San Antonio Spurs.

It all came to a boiling point last night. After months of watching The Duncan Face
time after ridiculously annoying time…after too many flops and dramatic falls from touch fouls deserving of Academy Award nominations…after the 750th reminder that Bruce Bowen continues to be a cheap and dirty player…I just…can’t…take it…any…more!

During last night’s game five in San Antonio, Tim Duncan and Tony Parker drew fouls that were perhaps the most ridiculous I’ve seen all season (maybe ever?). The refs should be ashamed of themselves. In both instances, neither Parker or Duncan was touched by a member of the Phoenix Suns. But yet, in typical whiny-bitch-Spurs fashion, they both went careening to the floor, arms flailing while simultaneously throwing trademark incredulous look in the direction of the referees as if they had been stabbed in broad daylight. And that’s all before we even broach the hack-a-shaq topic.

Play the game, fellas. The Spurs-lovers (hard to believe they exist) will claim that somehow this hatred is born out of jealousy. They will say that the Spurs simply “play hard” are “fundamentally sound” and “know how to win.” I say go f yourselves. Between Duncan, Ginobli, Parker and Bowen I couldn’t think of a finer team to root against. They are a bunch of whining, flopping cry babies, which is all we can really say on this here blog without veering off into an expletive-laced tirade (OK, Spurs fans insert your “who’ve won four championships blahblahblah).

So, here’s to our new favorite team, the New Orleans Hornets. Let’s hope we don’t have to find another new favorite team in a few weeks, because that would mean those bastard Spurs would still be alive.

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About the Author: Cecilio's Scribe is the founder of The Legend of Cecilio Guante and a generally pessimistic fan of the Mets, Jets, Knicks and Rangers. A fine NYC-based gentlemen who hones his marketing skills as his primary trade by day. Husband, chef, father of a newborn and after-hours blogger by night. Proud alum of the mighty Big Red of Cornell. University. Hot sauce devotee. Staunch protester of the continued wussifcation of American sports. Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick.

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  1. Anonymous says:

    Oh I don’t know, how about the Wizards and their incessant S*#t talking. Glad to see they’re backing that talk up with action…oh wait…they’re not.

    Or how about the Celtics? As if we need yet another Boston sports team winning it all, but they may do it with a craptastic coach who no one rags on because he’s a nice guy. They also have, Kevin Garnett, who’s never won anything and who got punked by Zaza Puchilia.

    What about the Nuggets? So much individual talent, so little team effort. But hey, they have more tats on their players than any other team out there.

    Gotta love the Lakers. They have Mr. Rapist as their star player. He bitches and moans. He throws teammates under the bus, but as soon as they start winning, he shuts up. They also have Lamar Odom who is the opposite of clutch.

    Mavs anyone? They traded for over the hill, coach killer Jason Kidd. They also got another star, Dirk, who won’t hesitate throwing teammates under the bus too. They got a player who isn’t afraid to admit he loves the weed.

    The Spurs are boring and maybe they need to tone down the floppage, but most hated? I think you need to look elsewhere first.

  2. Cecilio's Scribe says:

    bitter, bitter. uhh, if a lot of the things you note with these teams bother you than it may be time to stop watching the nba. to your point, though, there aren’t a lot of infinitely likeable teams out there. that’s why i’m heading down the NO/Cleveland path. Mavs would be second on my list of least appealing, although howard loving weed would have nothing to with it.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Ok for one thing your hatred of the Spurs (America’s team) is obviously born out of jealousy. The Spurs play hard whilst being fundamentally sound and most importantly they know how to win which is shown by their 4 Championships. Silly bitch you need to get out more. Good luck lil’ guy.

  4. Cecilio's Scribe says:

    ahhh, the anonymous Spurs fans coming out of the woodwork. we’ll decline from the back and forth banter, but no one ever questioned their ability to win. and “get out more.” Now, that doesn’t even make sense…gotta love the InterWebs

  5. Anonymous says:

    Duncan still might be the best PF ever in the game, even if you want to take him to task for flopping. Plus the 3 pointer he drained in Game 1 was the best thing I’ve ever seen in playoff basketball.

  6. RambisYouth says:

    I have a problem with your article.

    The Sp*rs have only won two championships. The strike season doesn’t count and last year was a gift from the NBA. :)

    Anyone care to explain how two players can come off the bench during an altercation this year and not get suspended (Boston vs Hawks)? It’s a matter of “correctness,” isn’t it?

    Don’t bother Sp*rs fan. You can’t explain it. Just enjoy your gift and shut up.

  7. Cecilio's Scribe says:

    the three was big. as painful as it was, off the top of my head, most memorable/ridiculous thing i’ve seen in playoffs was this. still pains me to watch.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtPaMgyz4ec

  8. David says:

    Another (almost anonymous) Spurs fan here. This is pretty silly. The subtitle of your page suggests you like athletes who play hard. You may have noticed the Spurs do that. They flop no more or less than others. Did you see Raja Bell lift off after a brush from Ginobili? Ginobili’s rep is unfair…he is absolutely fearless.

    And I’m not sure what fouls against Duncan and Parker you’re referring to. If one was when Duncan fell along the baseline, yes, Shaq should not have been called, but Duncan fell because he tripped over Shaq’s foot. Parker falls all the time on his drives to the lane…because HE IS AN AVERAGE SIZE MAN COLLIDING WITH HUGE MEN. Most of the time, there’s no call when there shouldn’t be, and he doesn’t look for a call.

    Go ahead and pull for the underdogs…I understand that. Yes, they don’t have marquee personalities. But your “reasons” to hate the Spurs don’t make sense.

  9. Cecilio's Scribe says:

    david – thanks for comment. level-headed and makes sense. we always encourage debate and appreciate some of your points. in terms of fouls, yes, was referring to shaq foul as one example. parker driving foul was called on stoudamire who did not physically touch tony, who nonetheless took a headfirst swan dive.

  10. Kid_Dynamite says:

    One more Spurs fan here,
    I don’t have a problem with people accusing the Spurs of flopping. They do. I just think people overlook the flopping of other players around the league. And I don’t just mean Varejao. Whether it be Raja Bell and Steve Nash, or even that absurd photo where LeBron is flying backwards as Stevenson barely touches him. I don’t like it, but its a league wide epidemic. I do agree with David that Tony isn’t actually flopping (most of the time) but is just being reckless with his body on his way to the basket in order to get up and under people. Even when he hits an open layup he looks like he might accidentally fall over. I also think the suggestion that the strike year is an illegitimate title is a little absurd. Everyone agreed to play, to try to win. Its not like 82 games is written in scripture. That’s only an argument someone would make if their team hadn’t won the title that year, not out of principle.

    I don’t mind the hatred, a good part of what makes sports great is the high emotions. If anything the hatred of the league gives Spurs fans a certain edge, as if we support something illicit, as opposed to merely just boring.

  11. (Different) David (from the one above) says:

    That tends to be the humorous thing about insulting the Spurs. The fans that rush to their defense usually say basically “yes, you have some points, and that right there is a very good argument, but I think you might be going just the slightest bit overboard right here…” Ya gotta admit, they’re the classiest fans in the league.

    The thing about the flopping is that, first of all, as someone above me said (the other David, maybe?), it’s more widespread than just the Spurs. But more important, it’s toned down a lot. For every flop that gets called a foul, there’s a foul that doesn’t get called. The refs could – by the letter of the law – call a foul basically every time Parker or Ginobili enters the lane, because someone there always rapes them sideways with a chainsaw. They get annihilated. So while sometimes, they do flop, they also get just as many no-calls against them.

    And the argument against Bruce Bowen is a non-argument. Bruce does as much as he can while avoiding getting called for it – same as every other player in the league. You could just as easily complain about (insert any guard here) traveling when they drive to the hoop – if they’re not going to get called for it, why shouldn’t they do it? If you’re going to complain about Bruce Bowen, complain about the league not calling him on stuff. Why should he change what he’s doing if the league isn’t punishing him for it? If you have a problem with Bowen’s tactics, complain about the league not penalizing him – ’cause until they do, he doesn’t have any reason to stop.

    (Note: this comment is courtesy of an Atlanta Hawks fan – so no “another anonymous Spurs fan!” garbage)

  12. Cecilio's Scribe says:

    Different David. Well said. Also, one of my contributors representing the SE recently recounted game 4 in philips. just wanted to throw some hometown Hawks love out there.

    http://www.legendofcecilioguante.com/2008/04/boston-sucks-boston-sucks.html

  13. Anonymous says:

    Big NBA fan here,
    Wow, hatred is just a waste of energy. Maybe you should put that energy you expend on the Spurs to better use. Maybe you just need to get laid. Good Luck.

  14. Kari W says:

    Wow. You are definately (whether you will admit it or not) a Phoenix fan. LOL. NOBODY makes statements this dumb except for them. Spurs were called “boring” several seasons ago (mostly after the CHAMPIONSHIP in ’99) and people have tried to use it ever since. Manu and Tony are very exciting to watch (which many of those same haters are saying now) unless you are a Spur-hater. You probably will never admit that, but it is just a reality. And on the flopping: many others have said this, but Spur haters use this same argument all the time and it still doesn’t stick. MOST of the NBA flops. Period. End of that discussion.
    It’s obvious that it is jealousy. Who would care SO MUCH about a face that someone makes when called for a foul?? I guess he should yell, scream or argue the calls constantly (like Boston except they dont get T’d up).
    I have a problem with Steve Nash’s face (it’s very very scary)but it wont change on account of me and I don’t use that as a legitimate argument for why I don’t like the Suns.
    As far as bad calls on game 5, yeah there were plenty. Some in the Spurs favor and some in the Suns favor. You probably don’t remember Manu going to the basket and getting totally hammered by 2 defenders…twice and no call. So on and so on..
    The reason you and others hate on the Spurs is really quite simple:
    They aren’t flashy and they don’t have the big names and endorsements, they’re nice guys with no chips on their shoulders, so many teams (and their fans) really believe they can beat them. And when that doesn’t happen, the stupid excuses, whining and hatin’ begins. Go Spurs Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Bandwagon haters are just as prevelent as bandwagon fans.

  15. Matt says:

    Another Spurs fan, so I’ll try to be quick:

    It seems like a lot of the hatred toward the Spurs these days is driven by the Spurs’ rep, which announcers and casual fans who hopped on the Suns bandwagon a few years ago have latched onto. Now they go into every S.A. game looking for the tiniest evidence of a flop. It’s not that they do it more than others, it’s that they people are on watch. Watch Boston sometime with the same attention to flopping/whining. It’s not a pretty site.

  16. Anonymous says:

    i had this emailed to me and i have to say that i just spent the past few minutes nodding profusely while wiping my eyes from laughing so hard.
    “it’s like you’ve read my blasted mind somehow!” i kept thinking.

    thanks for saying what needs to be said [and well said at that]

    brillant. =)

  17. Anonymous says:

    Another blogger sapped soulless by the Spurs. Que lastima! The irony about all of this Spurs hate is that the Spurs could care less.

    Every NBA player tries to stretch the rules to their outer limits. If you aren’t, you don’t want it bad enough. The 80′s Celtics and Pistons walked on the edge of rules. Michael Jordan? Hell, that dude intimidated refs on & off the court to let him play with an Earl Campbell stiff arm.

    The point being every team flops/complains, the Spurs are just the best at it. (It might have something to do with Tim Duncan’s D&D necromancy).

    I hope through individual counseling & group work you can let go of your hate and embrace the nirvana, that is the San Antonio Es-spurs. HORALE!

  18. Anonymous says:

    A little off topic, Guys… I have a question. Yesterday I looked at this site:
    [url=http://www.rivalspot.com]Rivalspot.com – Playstation tournaments[/url]
    They say you can play online NHL game tournaments on any console for cash… had anyone tried that before? Looks like a cool idea…
    Are there any other sites where you can play sports games for real moneys? I Googled and found only Bringit.com and Worldgaming.com but it looks these guys don't specialize in sport gamez. Any suggestions?

  19. Carmel says:

    Awesome theme of blog! What is it called?

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