Someone Make the Kornheiser-Jaworski Experiment Stop

We Do Not Envy Tirico

This will be short and sweet, as we’re still watching a surprisingly entertaining Giants-Browns Monday nighter.

WE CAN NOT TAKE THE KORNHEISER-JAWORSKI SCHTICK ANY LONGER!! Please, someone with a heart…some person who cares about the well-being of the football-viewing public…DO SOMETHING. The incredibly uncomfortable back-and-forth banter makes what should be pleasant, absolutely intolerable.

If not for my fiancee, who shockingly tolerates this mind-numbing dialog on behalf of her beloved G-Men, this game would unquestionably be on mute. In a freakin’ heartbeat. It’s imposisble to tell whether these guys are begrudgingly tolerating one another, mildly amused or relishing the moment they will one day have the opportunity to toss the other through the window of a skyscraper.

One thing is clear. It makes for agonizing listening. On the awkwardness scale, the telecast is off the charts with these two. Frankly, we’re almost ready to hurl ourselves from our apartment. It’s no high-rise, but we’re fairly certain that upon impact the echoes of Tony and Jaws would dissipate at the very least. Unfortunately, our co-habitant has limited our options.

So, for now, we’ll be gutting it out for the remainder of the contest. And by gutting it out we mean banging our head against the wall cursing the powers-that-be at the network. Oh my goodness, f-in up Monday night football is like botching pizza! It’s really not that hard a formula, people. Watch the game. Comment intelligently on what’s happening on the field once in awhile. That’s it. Really, it’s that simple.

Is it physically possible that I am missing Joe Theisman? Wait, you don’t have to answer that question.

/finger dangerously close to hitting the mute button…

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About the Author: Cecilio's Scribe is the founder of The Legend of Cecilio Guante and a generally pessimistic fan of the Mets, Jets, Knicks and Rangers. A fine NYC-based gentlemen who hones his marketing skills as his primary trade by day. Husband, chef, father of a newborn and after-hours blogger by night. Proud alum of the mighty Big Red of Cornell. University. Hot sauce devotee. Staunch protester of the continued wussifcation of American sports. Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick.

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  1. Anonymous says:

    I have muted MNF for a couple seasons now and I don’t think I’m missing anything. K-hole sucks.

  2. Cecilio's Scribe says:

    amen, brother.

  3. waty says:

    They should can Kornhole! He’s got a horrible attitude. He actually whines at the prospect of a game going into overtime, and bitches about having to travel. I don’t wanna hear your shit! If its so taxing, please, please freakin quit. There are a thousand guys who would kill for that gig, and every one of them would do it better.

  4. Erie's Scribe says:

    Yeah, but how ’bout those Brownies!!! Alive! Bringing it.

    There might be an Erie’s Scribe sighting if the Brownies roll up the Skins on Sunday.

    Uh-oh, it’s time to get back to that interesting memo on the rights of the invitee.

  5. Matt says:

    You fucking pussies. I have feeling you would complain about anybody in they put in the booth.

  6. Cecilio's Scribe says:

    excellent contribution, matt. you’re right. surely, we would.

  7. P-Cat says:

    I actually don’t mind Jaworski. He’s ok and actually has good insight occasionally. Korny…..god I hate that man.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Bring back Dennis Miller!

  9. Mike Hunt says:

    Jaworski is actually a good analyst; kornheiser is the one screwing everything up. In fact, the booth should just be Tirico and Jaworski, with kornheiser being shot out of a cannon into a thousand nests of fire ants. His whining was mentioned – his whining about the cold is especially stupid. If you’re so cold, JACKASS, stay out of the booth! I am sick of tony’s man-love for Brett Favre and Tom Brady. I hope he dies soon.

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