Aren’t you f-in sick of these decade-ending, sappy-ass sports retrospectives out there? All-decade team this. Plays of the decade that. Seriously, how damn lazy and uncreative can people get? It’s a new decade. Whooptie-damn-do. Do you give a sh*t? Me neither.
So, in honor of all those dullard journalists, bloggers and anybody else with a platform from which to speak who’s mindlessly perpetuating this drivel, I’m going to do the same exact thing. Yup, because I’m lazy as hell too and don’t get paid nothing for this here blogging job. Looking back at the decade that was here’s some of the WTF, whudda thunk it events, occurrences and moments that you may recall. Crank up the DeLorean, we’re heading back to 2000, people.
Remember when in 2000…Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football was the Real Y2K Disaster
Shockingly, there is no easy-to-find video of Miller’s actual commentary from his season in the Monday Night Football booth. Apparently, few felt Miller’s time alongside Michaels and Fouts should be preserved for posterity. Being fair, I remember thinking back then that this wasn’t the worst idea ever. Miller was his witty self at times and had a few sterling moments. Gotta give ABC some credit for taking a shot. It just didn’t work. Even Jackie Broyles knows such is true.
Remember When in 2001…Jordan was Favre, Before Favre
Before all the Favre retirement ridiculousness, another sporting fella was pulling the same melodramatic crap — his name was Michael Jordan. In 2001, he made his second comeback with the Washington Wizards. That still sounds incredibly strange to say, write or hear. The BBC, one of the preeminent news organizations in the world, covers the story with distinction. What is this “basketball” again?
Remember When in 2001…The XFL was Founded…and Died.
He Hate Me and sky cams are McMahon’s legacy. The inaugural and final year’s MVP? Anyone, anyone? Tommy Maddox is correct. If you got that, you should have yourself checked out. You never would’ve thought this league was doomed if you were to judge by its commercials. Ummm…
Remember When in 2002…the Rockets Drafted Some Massive Asian Man
That was pretty weird, right? And then it wasn’t.
Remember When in 2003…Steve. Bartman.
Sorry, Cubs fans. On a side note, I’d never seen this video, but it pretty much sums it up.
Remember When in 2004…”Malice at the Palace“
Before Ron Artest was certified completely crazy, he established what will be his greatest/worst legacy (and began to convince anyone of the non-believers of his craziness). See #1 from below for a refresher.
Remember When in 2005…The Washington Nationals were Born
No, you don’t recall? What’s that? You have no idea what sport or league the Washington Nationals are a part of? Can’t name a player? Yes, we understand. Fittingly, all I can find on the YouTube of their D.C. home opener back in ’05 is this shaky video taken from the 500 level at RFK Stadium. There have been 42 views of this historic video. Go figure.
Remember When in 2006…Dennis Green Coined a Phrase for the Ages
Yes, it was three years ago now that Dennis Green ensured his place within the annals of all-time greatest coaches rants. More importantly, he inspired sports fans everywhere to use the following seven words in a wide variety of sporting and social contexts. You’re damn right it is what you think it is.
Remember When in 2007…The Best Football Game I’ve Ever Seen was Played
Sometimes I watch clips of this game, and I shake my head in bewilderment like it’s the first time I’m seeing it. Fiesta Bowl. Boise St. Oklahoma. For a second, let’s put aside the fact that most college football old-schoolers didn’t even buy the Broncos had a snowball’s chance in hell against big bad Big 12 Sooners. Then, there was the game. Watch it again. Yes, the hook-and-lateral is ridiculous. Absolutely, the statue-of-liberty two-point conversion was insane. But did you recall that Boise St. jumped out to a 14-0 lead in this one and was up 28-10 in the third only to give up 25 unanswered to the Sooners? Yes, OU’s comeback was just as absurd to take a late 35-28 lead. Do you recollect that there two ginormous fourth-down plays for the Broncos in there, one of which was a halfback pass? Before the two-point conversion decision for the win??? Reedonkulous.
Remember When in 2008…Plaxico Burress Shot Himself
This is surely going to be one of those funny storytelling moments we pass on to the next generation. Perhaps one we temporarily forget only to have our memories triggered, at which time we gleefully laugh and envision a glock tucked inside the waistband of a pair of sweatpants…of a mega-millionaire athlete…in a NYC club. Silly Harris Smith.
Remember When in 2009…Fill in the Blanks People
What’s that random WTF sports moment we’ll look back on at the end of the next decade and and recall with nostalgic bliss? Think we’re living it right now? I’d tend to agree.
That’s my “retrospective.” Out.
Filed Under: Uncategorized
About the Author: Cecilio's Scribe is the founder of The Legend of Cecilio Guante and a generally pessimistic fan of the Mets, Jets, Knicks and Rangers. A fine NYC-based gentlemen who hones his marketing skills as his primary trade by day. Husband, chef, father of a newborn and after-hours blogger by night. Proud alum of the mighty Big Red of Cornell. University. Hot sauce devotee. Staunch protester of the continued wussifcation of American sports. Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick.