Washington St. is Putting Up Ridiculous Numbers

More Like a Kitten

When we say Wazzu is putting up ridiculous numbers, we absolutely mean it. Ridiculously bad. Like, mind-blowingly awful. Putrid. Horrendous…OK, you get the picture (sorry, Cougs fans).

If you readers are at all like me, many of you consider yourself fairly big-time college football fans (as do I). Seeing as I grew up in the NY metropolitan area, I don’t really follow one particular team (except Colorado, story for another day). But, rather, I pride myself on being fairly up-to-speed with most of what’s going on ’round the nation. Which brings us all around and back to Wazzu.

With above as context, I was aware the Cougars dropped a heartbreaker to the men of Troy this past Saturday by a count of 69-0. It’s a memorable score no matter how you slice it, and it’s received quite a few little snarky comments from folks in the booth over the course of the day/evening. What I wasn’t aware of just how par-for-the-course was this particular beatdown. Not to pile on any big Wazzu supporters, but mercy, mercy me.

Here is a little murder-by-numbers Wazzu-style for thee uninitiated. Read at your own risk.

1 The number of wins the Washington St. Cougars have managed to amass this 2008 season. For anyone curious, it was a trouncing of non-D1 Portland St. (I still can’t get with this Championship Subdivision nonsense)

4 Losses in which the Cougars have surrendered more than 60 points. We feel bad doing it, but shall we? Cal by a 66-3 margin in Pullman. The Ducks throwing up a 63-spot on Wazzu, also on the Cougars home field (final score: 63-14). Oregon St. Beavers 66, Washington St. Cougars 13. And, most recently, the 69-0 shutout home loss to USC. Give us a second to absorb all of that…wow.

7 Losses for the season

11 A fairly realistic estimate of total number of losses at the conclusion of the season

19 Touchdowns surrendered by WSU in their last two games. Read that again. Seriously. Powerful stuff.

44 The average margin of defeat for Wazzu, if you exclude their win over PSU (that would be the Vikings, not the Nittany Lions)

53 The average number of points the Cougars have surrendered per game, sans Portland St.

80 A number well within reach for Arizona, the ninth-ranked offense in the country, when they take on WSU in two weeks

119 Cougars team defense ranking – out of 120 Bowl Subdivision teams. Curiosity’s killing ya, huh? That would be North Texas (who, by the way, gave up an impressive 77-spot to Rice a few weeks back)

1,000 Years that it must feel like for Wazzu faithful since this seemed plausible

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About the Author: Cecilio's Scribe is the founder of The Legend of Cecilio Guante and a generally pessimistic fan of the Mets, Jets, Knicks and Rangers. A fine NYC-based gentlemen who hones his marketing skills as his primary trade by day. Husband, chef, father of a newborn and after-hours blogger by night. Proud alum of the mighty Big Red of Cornell. University. Hot sauce devotee. Staunch protester of the continued wussifcation of American sports. Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick.

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  1. Alan says:

    It has been a long year for Cougar fans. If Paul Wulff is the man for the job remains to be seen, but I think Bill Doba left him a pretty bare cupboard.

    I hate to pile on my own team, but they’re also facing scholarship limitations due to academic problems. Wullf has to get things turned around in the classroom and on the field, not an easy task. When Mike Price was the coach, he proved that WSU can win and be competitive and hopefully Wulff can make that happen. It will be a few years, but hopefully we’ll see encouraging signs next year.

  2. Cecilio's Scribe says:

    agreed.

    on an unrelated side note, every time i hear mike price’s name i can’t help but thing “it’s rollin’ baby!”

    http://deadspin.com/sports/college-football/si-and-mike-price-bury-the-bodies-together-130061.php

  3. J says:

    Although I attended USC, I am still a PAC 10 die hard and I want to see things get turned around at WSU. Not beating USC, but definitely not being beaten by 50 or 60 points by USC or any other school.

  4. Zach says:

    But the fact remains we still have more wins then those boys in purple. Even though it was agains Portland High School it was a WIN and thats all that matters.

  5. Bearcat44 says:

    Who will be the Robbie Cowgill, Derrick Low and Kyle Weaver equivalents to get the Wazzu football program out of Barbaro territory?

    This is the worst Wazzu FB team ever; even worse than the “fun” times of Jim Sweeney (1968-1975).

  6. Anonymous says:

    As a Wazzu fan in exile (living in Tennessee) it’s tough to hold your head up this year. I also don’t remember a team having the injuries at quarterback that the Cougs have suffered this year.
    I’ve been a fan since the 60′s and I can remember the “fun” times with Jim Sweeney. But, I gotta say this about Jim Sweeney’s teams–they might have lost a lot and given up a ton of points, but, they at least scored a lot of points. I don’t remember a year when a Wazzu team just couldn’t put any points up on the board.
    I sure hope that Wulff can get it done. Unlike Tennessee, Alabama and Auburn fans down here that I gotta deal with who start bitchin’ and throwing their coaches and players under the bus if they don’t win at least 10 games a year, I’m a real fan and will stick with the Cougs.
    When it comes to sufferning, Boston and Chicago Cub fans got nuthin’ on us. But, even by Coug standards, this is a horrible, unbelievable year.

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